Friends and Lovers
by Buffy Dementia
Summary: Buffy forms a friendship with Lorne that will eventually lead her back to Angel. Parts 1 - 4


Friends and Lovers Part One- Vegas Vacation  
  
Author: Dolores  
  
E-Mail: buffydementia@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing  
  
Summary: Buffy forms a friendship with Lorne that will eventually lead her back to Angel. (where she belongs)  
  
Pairings: B/A eventually Category: gen.  
  
Spoilers: everything up to and including 6/3 (rumors of 7/4) Rating: PG-13 for now  
  
Distribution: If for some crazy reason you want, take, and just let me know. If I ever finish I'll post it at my site (http://www.geocities.com/buffydementia/index.html)  
  
Feedback: Please, how else will I know if I should stop, continue, or change something?  
  
AN: This is my first fic so please be kind. I'm by no means a writer. I do much better with reading and leaving the writing to people who know what they are doing.  
  
AN: no beta all mistakes are mine and mine alone.  
  
Dedication: To all of those wonderful writers out there thank you for many wonderful hours of B/A denial.  
  
  
  
It was hot. That was the first thing Buffy noticed when she stepped off the bus. Living in Sunnydale where the clime was a comfortable year round 78°, Las Vegas in June was a definite shock to the system. She had no idea how people lived with this weather. Living on the hellmouth is one thing; living somewhere hot as hell is another. Buffy hoped it would be cooler at night, when she planed to see what this town offered.  
  
"Man, it is hot here!! Maybe Vegas wasn't such a good idea Buff?" Xander exclaimed as he stumbled from the cool interior of the bus. " It has to be at least 100( out here, and it is only 11:00." Buffy tuned out Xander's continuing tirade on the heat as she hoisted her bag higher on her shoulder and started for the side of the bus to claim the rest of her luggage.  
  
"Chill, Xander. I'm sure it will be cooler tonight. I hope." Buffy added a little unsure of her self. When Giles had suggested that she and Xander take a vacation she had been reluctant, she wanted to be there for Willow. She knew her friend was going through a hard time. Killing someone is not something you bounce back from, and she wanted to help her friend as much as possible. However, since Willow had played deeply with the black arts, she was required to go to Devon. The coven, that had warned Giles about what was happening with Willow, had made it clear that Willow was to be reprimanded for her actions. Buffy was in no way going to agree to this until Giles informed her that although the coven needed to punish Willow they were also going to do their best to rehabilitate her. He explained Willow needed the disciplinary actions as a chance to make amends for her wrongs. Even though Buffy didn't necessarily agree that sending Willow across the planet was the answer, she trusted Giles to do what was best for her friend. Even knowing that Giles would take care of everything, Buffy was still reluctant to leave the hellmouth for the summer. Everyone finally managed to convince her that summer in Sunnydale was slow with the demon activity and would be fine without her for a couple of weeks. Originally she was going to go with Dawn to L.A. to spend time with their dad but had decided against that. She was slowly making progress in becoming the Buffy of old, the last thing she needed was to deal with the Angel Angst that being in "his town" would cause. Now armed with Giles Guilt money and a friend she seriously needed to reconnect with, Buffy was ready to take Las Vegas by storm.  
  
Part Two- Rebuilding --------------------------------------  
  
By the time Buffy and Xander made it to the hotel they were both drenched with sweat.  
  
" Eww, I don't think I've ever felt this gross, except for that time I fought that chaos demon, or when I had to kill the bezoar thing, or the time." Buffy trailed off as Xander gave her the official "your babbling look" as he unlocked the door to his hotel room. "Okay so maybe being covered in sweat isn't that bad," she amended after opening her own door across the hall. "All I know is I will feel a lot better once I've showered."  
  
"Right there with you. How about we both get cleaned up and cooled down and hit the roulette tables, watch some showgirls" Xander was once again excited about being in Vegas now that they were in a nice temperature controlled building. He was looking forward to spending some quality time with Buffy. It still hurt that Buffy had not been up front with him about Spike but he wasn't about to let something like that come between him and his friend. It was hard enough that he couldn't be there for Willow and that Anya had not seemed very receptive towards his suggestions of working things out, the last thing he needed was to allow his petty jealousy get away with him. Part of him would always love Buffy, so it was hard for him to handle a man in her life, especially a man or thing that had sex with his ex, he wasn't bitter. He knew she would never feel the same way about him, he was just glad he had the chance to be there for her. He still felt like a jackass for not noticing or not wanting to notice how hard coming back was for her, he was aware that Buffy would probably never be the same girl she used to be, but he was glad he had this opportunity to get to know the woman she was becoming.  
  
" Xander.Xander! Welcome back zone boy, where'd ya go?" Xander flushed with embarrassment when he realized he was standing there like a big dork as Buffy waved a hand in front of his face.  
  
"Sorry, Buff. Half naked showgirls dancing in my head" he covered. Buffy just shook her head, she could not believe how often Xander thought about sex. It was good to know there where things in this world you could count on, demons would keep coming, the world would almost end twice a year, Doublemeat grease was impossible to wash out of hair and clothing, and Xander. thought about sex.  
  
"Okay, Xand, enough with the visuals than, the sooner we get ready the sooner we can get going. It's 12:30 right now so lets pretty our selves up and grab a late lunch. Than we can start with the gambling and gawking of naked women."  
  
"Sounds like my kind of plan. Meet you 15 minutes.owww.okay 30. owww.fine I'll just come over when I'm done and wait." Xander quickly made it into his room before she could punch him in the shoulder again.  
  
"30 minutes, ya, I'd like to see a guy have to do the things women do and be ready in 30 minutes" Buffy mumbled to her self as she went in to her room. She was looking forward to spending some quality time with Xander, since coming back, well actually if she was to be honest with her self even before she died, she and Xander had drifted apart. She missed him and was glad that they had this chance to renew their friendship with just the two of them. It would have been great if Willow could have been here too, but maybe by the end of this trip she and Xander will have worked out any remaining hostility and be able to focus on helping Willow when they got back.  
  
Buffy had a lot of things she wanted to work out on this trip. She wanted to get back to the person she used to be before. before everything. She wasn't sure if she could even remember the last time she felt like her self, some part of her had died a long time before she actually did. Dieing and coming back just made that missing piece more pronounced, to the point where it was to hard to hide behind a fake laugh and plastic smile. Buffy was not proud of the person she had been but she was working her way back. As she stepped into the shower she was replaying the events of the last few years in her head, working backwards trying to find where she had made wrong turns and when her life had become a lie. She still felt horrible guilty about trying to kill her friends and sister even though they have forgiven her, she couldn't forgive herself. That was defiantly an event she should have handled differently, sure she wasn't really herself, but she felt that if she wouldn't of had so many repressed feelings of hostility towards her friends it wouldn't have culminated to the point where their lives were put in danger. Then there was Spike. Buffy had no idea what her feelings for Spike were. She didn't think she would ever be able to forgive him for attacking her that way, but she was still worried about where he had taken off to. As much as she tried to tell herself she only cared because he was a potential treat, she knew deep down it was more than that. How much more she didn't know, but she did know it wasn't love and sleeping with him, "Sleeping? Ha! More like screwing his brains out!" Buffy ridiculed herself out loud. Anyway way she phrased it being with Spike that way had been one of the biggest mistakes she had ever made. Buffy was about to continue on with her analysis of the ways she had screwed up her life when she heard a knock at the door. "Damn it" she hadn't realized just how much time had passed, that would be Xander already and she wasn't even out of the shower. Quickly throwing on a bathrobe she let Xander in and told him to chill out while she finished her beauty routine.  
  
"That's cool, I'll just see what is on TV." Xander grab the remote and settled himself on the bed. Buffy had that I've been doing serious thinking and lost track of time look, when she had opened the door. Sometimes that girl brooded so much she gave Angel a run for his money. "Angel" he sneered, man he hated that guy. Xander could not understand how Angel could have just thrown away the love that he himself would never get to know. Buffy never talked about Him anymore but Xander sometimes wondered if she still thought of Him or worst still loved Him. He blamed Buffy's relationship disaster with Riley on Him. He had really liked Riley, but he knew Buffy had never loved him. He wondered if Buffy was aware of why she could never love Riley, or if she had already put up, what he liked to call, her Angel Blinders (her refusal to see or associate anything with or to Angel, no mater how obvious it is). Xander was glad that Riley had found someone who would love him back; he was also glad that he had come back to SunnyD so that Buffy could see that he was happy and let go of some of the guilt Xander was sure she was harboring. Over all Xander was glad Angel was no longer in Buffy's life. He knew that he, or anyone other than the couple themselves, didn't know all the details of the Buffy and Angel Saga, but he did know that all that guy ever did was hurt his Buffy.  
  
"Earth to Xander, come in Xander. What is with you today? You thinking about Anya?" Buffy asked as she stood there dressed in faded hip hugging blue jeans, a cheery butter yellow tank, and white Sketchers.  
  
"What no, I was thinking about Ang.umm. I mean Englelburt Humpberdinck."  
  
"Engel what. who?" Buffy looked at Xander like he had lost his mind. He was cool with that, as long as she didn't suspect the truth, Angel was not a word to be spoken in front of The Chosen One.  
  
"Nothing, never mind. You ready to show the Sin City the meaning of fun or what?" They linked arms as the headed out to rebuild the friendship that meant so much to the both of them.  
  
  
  
Part Three- Fun in the Sun ------------------------------------------------- --  
  
" Ohh" Buffy squealed like a little girl "look at all of these lovely stores, just waiting for me to spend Giles' money." She twirled in awe of the Forum Shops, she knew there was a reason she wanted to stay at Caesars Palace.  
  
"Woooh slow down there tiger, I'm thinking food first" Xander was happy to see the carefree smile gracing his friends beautiful face. It had been a long time since he had seen that look. But that didn't mean he wanted to stand around and gawk at stores, the sexy toga clad ladies yes, but stores no. He was hungry.  
  
"Lets go to the buffet" Xander grabbed Buffy's hand and started pulling her away from the boutique she was about to enter. "Your right Xan, a place like this deserves a day, not just a couple of hours" she replied as she allowed him to drag her away form the enclosed mall.  
  
After stuffing themselves on every imaginable type of yummy food from the buffet, they were ready to get outside and explore. As the got out to the sidewalk Buffy looked around and noticed that people were gathering in front of what looked like giant ships. Poking Xander in the side she pointed to the next hotel, "What do you think is going on over there?"  
  
"All right! It's the pirate show!" Once again grabbing Buffy's hand Xander pulled her along, mumbling about wanting to get as close as possible to the action. Shaking her head in amusement Buffy had no choice but to be dragged along. This time she reflected on how great it was to see her Xander shaped friend smile. After that whole leaving Anya at the alter thing, Xander had been pretty down, and then that Anya and Spike fiasco (flinch) hadn't done much for his cheery disposition. It had been a tuff year for all of them. Buffy could hardly believe they had survived at all, not just Willow turning evil and wanting to end the world but everything else, coming back from heaven, dept, parenting, magic addiction, soulless demon sexcapades, a ruined wedding, klepto-isim, abandonment, sexual assault, getting shot, and losing a dear friend. Man, it is a miracle they were all sane. But you know what they say, "that which does not kill you, makes you stronger." Buffy felt stronger, emotionally and physically. She knew she wasn't at complete understanding yet, but she felt close, closer than she ever had before. As glad as she was that she and Xander had this chance together, she was looking forward to solidifying her relationships with Willow and Dawn, especially Willow she missed how they used to be. She knew it was going to be hard for Willow; she had lost her soulmate and had been forced to see the darkness she herself was cable of. Those had to be two of the hardest things in the world to deal with, and Buffy should know she had been there and done that. As for Dawn, Buffy was in uncharted territory. She knew that she wanted her sister to live a happy full life, she just didn't know how to provide it. Buffy was finally starting to see that normal didn't necessarily equal happy.  
  
" That was so cool! Did you see when that one guy smacked that other over board?" Xander's excited chatter pulled Buffy out of her reverie.  
  
"Yeah Xan, I saw. So if you are done reliving boyhood fantasies what do ya say we head in the other direction a check out the New York, New York. I think they have a rollercoaster," Buffy enticed as she started to make her way through the thinning crowd.  
  
"Bonus!. so. ah.Buff.what was with the long face back there?" Surprised, Buffy gave him her 'what are you talking about, I'm fine look.' Xander wasn't buying it.  
  
"Come on, Buffy. We came on this trip together for a reason, don't start holding back on me now."  
  
"Your right Xander, I am sorry I just don't want to bring down the mood. I was thinking about Willow and Dawn.and missing Tara." Buffy was still uncomfortable with sharing her feelings, and it showed.  
  
"I know Buffy I miss her too, and trust me I'm equally as worried about Willow and Dawn. But, Hey! We're in Vegas!! Let's worry about having fun for now; we'll deal with all that when we get back home. Right now we're living in denial." Throwing his arm around his friend he gave her a reassuring hug and a 'what'd ya say smile.'  
  
"Right you are my friend.ohh. look it's the Bellagio. Giles went through hell to get us tickets to their water show thingy for tomorrow night, it should be fun." With that Buffy wrapped her arm around his waist and vowed that she would have fun, happy thoughts for the rest of the day.  
  
It was dark outside by the time the pair had made it to the line for the Manhattan Express. First they had to stop at the restrooms, and then they stopped so Xander could get a couple hot dogs and some cotton candy. Buffy did her best to warn him that maybe eating those on top of what they had eaten at the hotel wasn't such a good idea. However Xander insisted, in typical macho fashion, that his stomach could handle anything and would be fine. So Buffy was proud of the fact that she refrained from telling him 'I told you so' as she helped him into the trolley. They were heading back to the hotel to change, because when Xander puked on the ride it had gotten all over his shirt and pants, not to mention in the hair of the poor lady sitting in front of him.  
  
"So.Buffy. How about after we change we head out to the nudie bar. oww, what was that for?" Xander rubbed his shoulder as Buffy glared at him. "What?. I'm a man, I can't go to Vegas and not go to a girlie show, come on Buff, you might like it."  
  
"Forget it Xander. There is no way, but don't let me stop you from fulfilling you're manly rite of passage. I'll just explore on my own, maybe get a little souvenir shopping done." Buffy had no problems with a little alone time, it would give her a chance to get back to analyzing where her life had taken a turn for the worse and how to go about fixing it.  
  
"Aww, you're the bestest bud, of bestest buddies" Xander lead over to give her an affectionate hug.  
  
"Xander!! Eww.don't touch me, you're all icky."  
  
  
  
Part Four - What on Earth? ------------------------------------------------ ---  
  
Walking down the Strip Buffy could not believe how much cooler it was at night. Pulling her yellow pashmina tighter over her body she made her way to the interesting black pyramid hotel at the end of the Strip. As she walked she sunk deeper and deeper into thought. She couldn't believe where her life was. If the person she was three years ago could see her now Buffy was sure she would pop her one in the nose for all of the dumb mistakes she had made. She just couldn't believe how down hill every thing had gone. This past year aside her life had been unraveling long before her death. She knew when it started, it had started the moment Angel walked out of her life. She hated that he had such an effect on her life.on her. She was still in love with him. Buffy knew her friends all thought that she was over him, how could they not, she had even fooled her self for a while. When she had told Spike that he was merely convenient she had not been lying. He was the closest thing she could get to her love. When his cold mouth was on her, his cool hands caressing her body she could shut her eyes tightly and pretend. Her memories and imagination where all she had left of Angel.  
  
She remembered her thoughts on the way to see Angel when she first came back. She was so sure that he would take one look at her and know that she had been in heaven and then he would take her in his arms and everything would be okay again. Unfortunately that is not how it happened; instead he was hesitant like he didn't quite believe it was real, that she was real. Feeling him distant himself from her broke the heart she didn't think could be anymore broken a little more and killed her last hope of finding someone who could accept the new broken Buffy and maybe help fix her. On the way home that night she felt colder and more alone than ever before.  
  
Trying to shake off her dark mood Buffy made her way to one of the Blackjack tables in the luxurious Luxor hotel. Pulling a hundred dollar bill out of her bag she handed it to the deal to be changed into chips. When the dealer asked to see her ID she smiled at him to let him know she understood. Reaching into her bag once again she procured the requested item. As the dealer handed her back her ID and the allotted amount of chips a tall good looking guy sat next to her at the table. Placing her bet she watched as the cards were dealt. She had a queen and a five. The newcomer next to her had a jack and a three, and the couple at the other end of the table had a nine and an eight. Looking up at the man dealing she decided to chance it.  
  
"Hit me" The guy next to her called for one more card while the couple opted to stand. The dealer efficiently flipped over the cards revealing a nine for the guy and a six for Buffy.  
  
"ohh.Twenty-one. I win yay me" Buffy squealed as the guy next to her groaned.  
  
"Busted" leaning closer to Buffy he smiled flirtatiously "Congratulations"  
  
Smiling back she replied, "Thanks"  
  
After a few more hands Buffy was very proud of her self she actually had more money now than when she had started the game and she was having a good time. Partaking in a little bit of light hearted flirtation with "Jason" the guy next to her. She couldn't remember the last time someone had so blatantly come on to her. It felt great. As she was collecting her winnings she noticed a couple of seedy looking guys go into a doorway she hadn't notice before. Part of her wanted to shrug this off but those two had her slayer senses jumping.  
  
"It was nice meeting you, Jason" Buffy smiled as she hopped off her seat, "maybe I'll see you around." With that she left the table and headed for the mysterious door mumbling to her self about how a vacation just isn't a vacation without working. Flipping to slayer mode Buffy quickly looked around before opening the door and slipping inside. She was not surprised to find her self in a darkened hallway. She followed the hall to an entryway with blue metallic streamers hiding the next room. Her slayer senses were going haywire because of whatever was in that room. Hesitantly Buffy raised a hand to the streamers, taking a deep breath she pushed them aside and walked in. Getting a good look at the room she stopped dead in her tracks.  
  
"What on Earth.?"  
  
tbc??? You tell me. 


End file.
